Monkey Run Mongolia
A whole new level of adventuring stupidity
Oi, you there, come and pioneer the Monkey Run Mongolia
The Institute of Adventure Research needs your help.
Well, here it is. An all new shiny Monkey Run with gigantic-hairy-monkey-adventure nuts.
Mongolia is big. Really fucking big. And driving through it (as any of you ex-Mongol Ralliers know) is brain squashingly awesome. 1000’s of miles of endless horizons, mountains, dirt roads, no roads, nomads, deserts and steppe all collide in a sort adventuristic spaff. So riding through it on a motorbike designed for children is quite simply resplendent. Mongolia calls to the soul of the Monkey Bike like a fly to a shit.
Just look at all these pictures we made up by mangling Mongol Rally and Monkey Run photos together. It’s your job to make this utopian vision a reality.
The Institute of Adventure Research is calling for just 20
idiots Pioneers to come with us to test out how stupid this could possibly be.
Are you ready to write the next chapter of adventuring history?
1. The Route
"This one is going to be ridiculous. I love Mongolia and monkey bikes, they both start with the letter "M", so it's like the Universe has told us to do it" Mr Tom - Adventurists' Chief Idiot
From where? to where?
2. Dates and things
30th August - 12 noon
Setting forth to the start camp
We shall congregate at a secret location in Ulaanbataar where upon we shall whisk you off to the start line camp. And once we arrive much partying will ensue.
31st August - all day
Training and test driving
Some of you will be shit at riding monkey bikes so this is where you get your hands on your steed and ride it around like a fool. We'll be around to explain all the things that will break, which end goes forwards and other helpful things.
1st - 10th September
The adventure ensues
You will start by being at the sharp end of miles of adventuring chaos. And after 10 days there is some chance you will have made it to the finish.
Back slapping and party doing
Well done. Some of you might have made it by now so we'll all get together and celebrate with high fives and merryment.
3. What's included?
- We'll get you from Ulaanbataar to the middle of nowhere for the launch and even bring you back from the finish line at the end. Handy.
- We'll put you up and stuff you full of food at the start and finish.
- We'll give you your very own (for a while) monkey bike to fall madly in love with as you ride across the wilderness.
- We'll stick a satellite tracker on you so we know where you are even if you (hopefully) haven't a clue.
- We'll give you a map that is almost completely useless.
- We'll give you 2 parties to spoil your internal organs.
- And some other stuff it would be boring to write here.
- Oh and you'll get to help the Institute of Adventure Research set up a whole new adventure for all mankind. So you get one of the converted blue badges of joy.
4. Are you sure you want to pioneer this?
5. I have a few questions...
What should I bring?
- A tent - you can get little 1 man things that weight less than 1kg.
- A sleeping bag.
- Any food you're not going to be happy finding and eating on the way.
- The clothes you want to prevent hypothermia - water proof things for example.
- Black tie for the finish line