April 15, 2019
We did a poll of the greatest car to do the Mongol Rally and it appears we neglected to include one of the greatest rallying machines known to man. The Perodua.
You’d be forgiven for thinking ‘That’s not a car that’s some sort of male infertility treatment’ but you would be wrong. To illustrate exactly why you should be taking a Perodua – or Prodda – to Mongolia we’ve invited 2009 veteran Dan Taylor to expound their virtues.
5 Reasons Why Peroduas Are Fucking Awesome
1. They’re prefect Mongol Rally cars
Looking at a Micra are we? Yeah, they’re admittedly pretty good. And a safe bet as they don’t tend to break. AND they’re 1.0l. Perfect. Well, not quite. Let’s be honest, 1.0l is cool and all that, but well….it’s just a bit too much really. What you want is to chuck away about 150 of those cc’s and get yourself something more economical. And awesome. Like a Perodua. A Per-what? Yeah, you’ll learn.
2. They’re cheap. Like the budgie
A 2000/2001 registered Perodua Nippa will cost you on average 500 quid. Some will be more, some less. Mine cost £512 off eBay. But I have heard of one team for 2015 have bagged one already for £99. And you get a lot of cheap, shitty Malaysian bang for your buck too. 4 doors, a reasonable boot for all the stuff you’re er….not taking and as they’re usually previously owned by old biddies, they’ll have done about 100 miles and been serviced every 2 minutes. The petrol tank is tiny admittedly, but it’ll give you 250 miles.
3. They’re hard as fucking nails
No really. Honest. OK, so when they were introduced to the UK they were the cheapest new car you could buy (£4k) but the Nippa is early 90’s tech. It’s a Daihatsu that Daihatsu didn’t want to make any more and flogged to some Malaysians. Those guys learn to drive in the things, they’re used as taxis, hire cars, there’s even a tuning scene (no, seriously, there is) for them for gods sake! They’re MADE to live hard lives. The front suspension is solid as a rock and as it has a tiny engine and a stupendously overly large front sub-frame, there’s no need for stuff like a sump guard. Which means more money for vodka.
How hard are they? Well one of my team mates parked ours 20ft down a drainage ditch in Kazakhstan. Well, when I say ‘parked’ I mean ‘fell asleep at the wheel whilst doing 50’. The damage? A cracked exhaust. So it’s thanks to a Perodua I’m still alive today to be telling you how damned awesome they are.
I know of 3 of these things that have done the Pamir Highway. One team on our year deliberately tried to kill theirs in Mongolia, for a laugh. The result? A cracked fuel line. In comparison, pretty much every Suzuki Jimny that gets that far shits itself and rolls over to play dead.
4. It makes border crossings much more fun
No really. At every single border crossing this happened when I handed them our V5.
Stern Customs Man: MACHINA MARKA?
SCM: MACHINA! MARKA! VEEDUBYU? REH-NOLT? MUR-SAY-DEZ? MARKA!!
Me: Ooooh! Perodua.
Me: No. Peh-ro-dyu-ah.
SCM: SHOW! MACHINA!
Me: That one! *points*
SCM: HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! *stamps form* YOU GO!
5. Smug feeling of self satisfaction
Not only from the knowledge that you’re fucking hardcore (come on, you’re driving a 70hp filing cabinet to Mongolia) but from the open mouthed look of amazement people will keep on displaying as your Prodder runs and runs and runs like a Duracell bunny on crack. OK, some people will snigger and even laugh to begin with. But most of those will see the error of their ways when you either outrun their bullshit 1.3l Skoda (cheats!) on the Autobahn. Uphill. Or when you show them the picture of your Malaysian assembled knock-off Japanese shitbox in Ulanbataar. Looking awesome. With all its wheels still attached.
So there we have it. Five reasons why the Perodua is the perfect Mongol Rally car. Thank you Mr Taylor. If you had any doubt in your mind left. I’ve got a bonus one for you.
Ladies Love a Prodda
Yep. It’s hard to believe but all the ladies love these cheeky Malaysian trash cans. And we’ve got proof. This gallery is of 2011 team ‘WTF Is A Perodua?’ who’s lady friends were so enamoured by their choice of motor they insisted of posing in front of it wearing not-a-lot. Sure they made up an excuse of wanting to raise money for charity, but you can see the raw animal lust in their eyes. That’s why they’re wearing aviators in most of the photos.
This blog post was originally published in September 2014.