Crap Car Karma - RIP Porsche

Week 3 2015 will go down in Mongol Rally history as the week the Porsche met divine retribution and exploded.  

It was an act of God, probably Ananke*
— Adventurist Nye

We always had our doubts about this vehicle. The quite practical boot size and sleek bonnet of the Porsche 944 didn't exactly meet our Crap Car specifications. Too fit for purpose we said.  Not enough adventure we said. Impressive, but not enough of a challenge.  Like Stephen Fry reciting the Encyclopaedia backwards or waking up in a pornstars' bed. 

Team Mongolf barrelled through our objections and it is hard to resist when they have the fundraising mettle to back it up. They planned to golf in every country and they raised a thoroughly respectable £25,000 before leaving. 

The Porsche in happier times.

The Porsche in happier times.


The Porsche clearly felt as we did and had the balls to do something about it. She'd got a taste of the potholes west of Iran and wanted none of it, finally choosing self-immolation rather than battle through more of central Asia. 

Once I finally found the extinguisher, the flames had taken hold at the front and it was like pissing into a bonfire.
— Anthony, Team Mongolf

The roads of Europe were no problem. The Door to Hell sanddunes presented little difficulty. Yet the end of this rally came with a 5 inch lip off a bridge in Turkmenistan. 

According to team member Anthony: "We hit the lip in the road at 50mph. the Engine was on fire in 3 seconds. The entire case engulfed within 90 seconds. The fire lasted about 90 minutes"


After about 70 minutes a shitty little firetruck turned out to put out the embers.

Their response times were appalling.
— Mongolf
Go home image stabiliser. You're drunk.

Go home image stabiliser. You're drunk.

Both team members are ok. They claims to be a bit shaken but have decamped to Bali and Scotland to recover. We have no sympathy. 

Things we lost of little importance: £500, my iphone and Patrick’s wallet.
— Mongolf

What would you save in a fire? Apparently not your £3000 golf clubs. 



*We don't know what the fuck he is talking about, but then that's not new. Apparently she's a thing. 

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