Another Rickshaw Run Over and Out - This is the Best of it

He's already broken his leg and this is only the start line.

He's already broken his leg and this is only the start line.

The Rickshaw Run. More fun than getting drunk in a bouncy castle.  More foolish than uploading that dick pic to twitter.*

The 2015 August run is over. We've seen some bone mangling crashes, several almost-arrests and more close calls than we want to think about. Now it's storytime. 

Our lawnmowers. Looking sexy.

Three times a year we assemble our wagonload of three-wheeled vehicles and a bunch of brave fools to lend them to.  We give a start line, a finish line and one line of advice - don't trust Google Maps.

After that, it's just you and some mates in your very own shitshaw. And you've got to cross a subcontinent. 

At 3500km, the August adventure is the Rampant Rabbit of runs. It's just a bit longer than the others so it always hits the spot. 

With our runners fresh over the finish line and proudly sporting a victory glow, it's our privilege to bring you why. 

Hold on to your buttocks. This shit is spicy:

1. The Police Interrogation

Our rick's get pimped. We've seen satellite dishes, solar panels and inflatables of all kinds don these noble vehicles so we can say with confidence: our runners stand out a bit.

Sometimes, this means a cup of chai and an enthusiastic welcome. Sometimes, it doesn't:

Morgan has just been detained in his room in Mahbubnagar for an hour with five policemen after we “caused a public nuisance.” Morgan has no idea where we’ve been or where we’re going, has two passports with different names, walkie talkies and unidentified electrical equipment in his bag and looks a bit like a stereotypical terrorist.

All that and somehow the adventurist license was the thing that made them leave us alone with the bribe fund still untouched.
— The Great New Zealand Tractor Race

Of course, this was exactly the kind of situation we had pictured when we distributed our Lawnmower Licences. Here's the genuine article:

The ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card. For a fee, we could probably knock together a legit diploma too.

We're rather chuffed with that one.

 

2. The Goat Chauffeur

According to teammates, this little fellow smelled better than the driver he replaced.

What are you reading the caption for? The driver's a fucking goat. Excellent.

 

3. The Manual Job

What do you do if your wipers don't work but you're driving on a deadline in the rain? You pull your hands out your trousers and fix it. We hear this worked a treat:

 

4. The Mud

August in North India means facing down the monsoon. Torrential rain means a holy-shit-tonne of mud. 

Here's Cool Runnings India, Shake and Bake and Team Draft living a pig's wet dream and loving it. 

 Yep. Muddier than the FIFA World Cup selection process. 

 

5. The Breakdowns 

Axels. Pistons. Engines. We've seen them all bust and back again, but no-one did it better than the Bohemian Blokes. They went for the whole shebang and on day 1 too.

Hold your applause though, they're not the only ones:

Day 1:
Start Rickshaw Run ✔
Get Soaked ✔
Get Caught in traffic jam ✔
Drive on Wrong Side of Road ✔
Snap front axle ✔
Roll Rickshaw ✔
Police Assistance ✔
Roadside mechanics ✔
Run out of fuel ✔
Stay alive ✔
— Bohemian Blokes
Dragged to a bar through a sewer to try and source a part for our shattered piston.
— Planet Express Ship
We are on a wild all-nighter tow ride to the nearest mechanic to find the elusive part. This is our 18th breakdown. Tow includes mixed drinks and prawn biryiani.
— Keep Calm and Curry On

We told you they were an excellent bunch. 

 

6. The Dedication to Hedonism

Fucking hell. Even by Rickshaw-Run-Chief Mr Matt's depraved standards, our August Launch Party was a messy one. "Bloody mental" were his exact words:

We lost Scooby Doo. He stumbled through the door at 6am having just escaped hospital and shit himself. In a Scooby Doo onesie.

He made the local paper too. Actually, perhaps the fewer details about this one the better eh?  

 

7. This Rick Roll

A Rickshaw is pretty stable vehicle. Unless you are driving into a wind that could make a feather shimmy and then staying upright is as much of a dream as Kanye West for President in 2020.

This though, sounds like a roll worth writing about:

I was in the backseat. We took a sharp left turn coming downhill and the rickshaw flipped. I ended up beneath it, the frame fractured my arm in four places.

To use the doctors impressive if unnecessary description, the crash had “mangled the bones” in my left arm which required surgery for metal plates to be fitted either side.

One of which looks suspiciously like a Gilette shaving razor.
— The Mighty Tuks
 
arm xray.jpeg

Never going to tell a lie: it does look like a razor. 

 

8. The Fucking Incredible Photos

India is pretty nice and we can't think of a better way to see it than from a Rickshaw. Here are some of the best photos of this edition:

Is the flagrant sales pitch coming on too strong? This happened too:

We got straddled by an Indian man in the ocean.
— Adam and Rhys - The Richies

Lovely.

Do you have what it takes to do the rickshaw run?

You'll have one thing in common with that politician who signed up to Ashley Madison on his work email address. You'll be a bloody idiot. We'd love to have you. 

Thanks India for another corker of a run. See you next year.

 

 

Still scrolling? Here's some more:

Turning up at an Indian truck stop wearing a dress though is not the most comfortable thing I’ve ever done.
— The Adventurepreneurs
We managed to get the rickshaw airbourne off a speed bump and our spare tyre ended up in someones kitchen.
— Team Master Caution
Favourite restaurant so far - we ended up eating in the canteen of the Maternity and Diagnostic Centre in Kishanganj.
— Krazy Jalfrezi
Just got all our nipples greased. Would recommend it.
— Thunder from Downunder
I found myself undertaking on left hand bends and just thought...what the hell am I doing? It’s amazing how quickly you get into it.
— Nick, Team Mad Dogs and Englishmen

 Lets do this.


* We especially don't want to see yours Johnny Knoxville: "I have a penis like an egg in the nest. It looks like a light switch."   We research celebrities with a small penis in the office. So you don't have to.