Mongol Rally Rolling News - Week 3

Our dauntless teams have faced down the starter and are up to their nipples in the meaty main.  

Eight teams have retired, one has reached Ulan-Ude and the vanguard of the rest are dotted around the 'stans. 

Shit is going wrong and this is where you can read all about it. Welcome to Week Three. 


17.42 07.08.2015 Rosa Earp

Ahhhhh the sweet call of the weekend. Anyone after more details about the porsche fireball? We can provide. 

We'll be back on Monday to see what scrapes you chaps have got up to and to kick off Week 4.


16.02 07.08.2015 Rosa Earp

Joining the party in Baku is Adventure for Dementia in their Ligier. We are pretty impressed that they've got this far. I'm a fiver down. 

"Our lawnmower deluxe surviving the trek through the Agsu region in Azerbaijan." James - Adventure before Dementia

Another shit car doing pretty well - the Cross-Border Smugglers in their Reliant Robin.  'Cuddles' is looking surprisingly good after rolling in Bulgaria and the team are now hitting their stride at the Georgian-Russian border. 

Once they saw that as part of our equipment we had brought supplies of vodka and beer they were satisfied that we were properly prepared for our journey though Russia.
— Cross-Border Smugglers

A little scarred, but amazingly still with us. 


15.49 07.08.2015 Rosa Earp

The Dropbears are having an excellent time: 

We are stuck in the middle of Kazakhstan. The exhaust has been missing for days. Both back shockies are collapsed, the spare tire and the thermostat are gone.

It’s 42 degrees with not a tree in sight and we need our last 2 litres of water to fill the radiator back up.

Our remaining sustenance is comprised of six hot Kazak beers, half a jar of chilies and a can of tripe soup we bought from a romanian supermarket 10 days ago.
— Dropbears

The kind of update we love to see. 


15.16 07.08.2015 Rosa Earp

The first-team-we-reckon-to-ever-actually-make-it-to-Africa-on-the-Mongol-Rally Award goes to team Wrong Direction. Having driven all the way to Morocco the only proof they could come up with is this blurry monstrosity.   

Get these guys a drink. They've got long fucking way to go.


12.09 07.08.2015 Rosa Earp

This, we hear, is a common problem.

The first rule of Baku is to leave Baku. Unfortunately, no one is too sure how this works.
— Dashing Donkeys
No one could leave the car park once you’ve entered. Some ralliers had already been there for seven days.
— Maartje - Nerdventurists Team

How 2 Tees Please bartered for their car is a corker. One of the finer examples of car acquirement we've seen:

Nick fitted a window in a lesbian commune in exchange for the car.

The last time it had been on the road had been to protest against nuclear weapons in the early 1980s.
— Micrateers

Here's the mighty Morris at our launch. 


12.30 07.08.2015 Rosa Earp

The mighty 2CV. Succeeding where so many larger cars have been sunk before.  


16.35 06.08.2015 Rosa Earp

Our very heartiest congratulations to Papu who proposed to his teammate Elena at the Door to Hell in Turkmenistan. She accepted him. 

We drove to the crater, found a hill nearby, almost wrecked the car driving up that. Found some eggy sulfuric rocks (she’s a geologist), set up a camera to “capture the sunset” and the rest just kinda flowed.
— Papu - Team Ndanka
True rally spirit and a romantic bastard in one
— Adventurist Kev

Papu is the linchpin of the this years Mongol Rally Facebook group and we've heard more than one breakdown story where he plays the knight in shining armour. That said, he might have problems of his own from now:


Each border was fun as the ring was hiding in the gear lever casing. Didn’t want to declare it as it would take me over the limit.

Had to borrow a screwdriver from Greg - Team Never Look Yak - to retrieve the ring, because I lost mine hours earlier bailing the Panda 4x4 out of the sand.

Now you see why I have prepared so much.... I haven’t planned anything from Turkmen onwards.

We managed to get lost and drive to the Afghan border yesterday instead of the Tajik one. Ah well.

The fun begins now.
— Papu

The Mongol Rally. Probably quite a good way of vetting your potential life partner.  


12.13 04.05.2015 Rosa Earp

Team Mongolf have retired in a spectacular way in Turkmenistan. This car must have been shit hot to melt those wheels, but we imagine it wasn't so different to the heat in the Turkmen desert.

Both team members are still alive. A sterling effort from a team who raised £25,000 for their chosen charity, St George's School in Ethiopia.


19.05 05.8.2015 Rosa Earp


Now we know what it feels like when you have a broken ball bearing in the Karakum desert, 300km from everything.

Thanks for everything. It’s been a wonderful adventure. We won’t be doing this again.
— Team Last Minute

Thanks chaps. Sorry to lose you.


11.24 06.08.2015 Rosa Earp

Where are they now? All over the bloody map.

Team Pimp my Horse are the second the reach the finish line, but the first to go through Mongolia before arriving. Also arrived is A-Team Max East who will now continue their rally to Magadan. 

Things have gone a bit quiet on the internet as a number of teams are working their way through Iran and Turkmenistan where access is restricted.

A bunch of other teams who didn't fancy a jaunt in two of the worlds' more politically fraught countries have congregated in Baku waiting for boats to cross the Caspian sea. 

Our tracking map is still working a treat. Click on the image to get to the map. 


10.44 06.08.2015 Rosa Earp

Team We have No Mechanic have a problem in Baku:

Our car has disappeared from Baku city centre.

We’ve been stuck in Baku for three days and and the boat could be arriving this afternoon.
— We Have No Mechanic

Don't worry chaps. Our sources say a three day wait is still on the short side. If you're lucky you could have two more days at least to track down your chariot. 


16.20 05.08.2015 Rosa Earp

Stopping at the barbers in Turkey gets you slightly more than the routine short-back-and-sides. Here is Wil from team HSJ having excess facial hair tended to. Back, sack and crack next? 


15.12 05.08.2015 Rosa Earp

Team FC Mongoal are considering investing in some real-estate in Mongolia.

Includes off-street parking. Looks like a winner.


20.35 04.08.2015 Rosa Earp

Team Kamerikan is enjoying Kazakhstani hospitality. They are one of many teams who have been given a melon. But they got it through the window. While driving. With evidence.

Top Marks.


14.27 04.08.2015 Mr Joolz

If you're loving the rolling news, but the updates aren't coming fast enough, check out the Rickshaw Run Rolling News. We've already had a flipped rick', biblical floods and a broken leg and the adventure hasn't even started yet.


00.15 04.08.2015 Rosa Earp

Our updates from the border queues indicate everything is going pretty smoothly today:

We had no issues getting in other than the porn on another team’s phone....
— Papu, Team Ndanka

Those queues can be pretty long. 


13.15 02.08.2015 Rosa Earp

In Tehran and with car problems, Team 2CV Rally took their car apart in the hotel parking garage. 

2CV Rally are a danish team, so naturally they had all the necessary parts and tools and are back on the road without ado:


10.54 04.08.2015 Rosa Earp

As the teams get further away, the pictures get better: 


22.17 03.08.2015 Rosa Earp

The rally is going well for the Foreign Beggars, one of our cheapskate teams. 


Free hotel, free pizza and free beer all in exchange for a selfie stick.

We are blagging the SHIT out of this rally.
— Foreign Beggars

As the Foreign Beggars blast through Russia, they owe their accommodation and sustenance to the generosity of other teams. Kengis Khan and Kangaskhan have been shelling out so far.  Carey and Tim are looking pretty chuffed about it. 

Meanwhile Corsa Can, our other remaining Cheapskate team is in Azerbaijan, enjoying the views and dodging bent cops:

We’ve stood our ground and haven’t paid a penny
— Corsa Can

10.05 04.08.2015 Rosa Earp

Also having vehicle problems are the Mongol Midgets. They have reached Mongolia but their MG Midget is not happy about it. 

We took a wrong turn, taking us down a track you wouldn’t put your landrover down.
— Mongol Midgets

17.08 03.08.2015 Mr Joolz

Team Vast & Curious finding that their tiny trolley wheels are little match for the Kazakh desert


15.18 03.08.2015 Rosa Earp

Looks pretty fucking comfortable on the road. 


12.30 03.08.2015 Rosa Earp

A long wait at customs is par for the course. But some teams are having more trouble than others: 

There were some difficulties with the border. It seems we have the words ‘Cross Border Smugglers’ plastered down the side of the car.
— Cross-Border Smugglers

Meanwhile the Mongol Midgets and Marco Yolo have found new ways to make the crossing smoother:

Trading entry to the country for a new profile pic. Everyone is happy. Except the guy in blue. 

Both the Russian and Mongolian border police were pleased to see us.
— The Mongol Midgets

Meanwhile, Marco Yolo have learnt to do whatever it takes: 

I am ashamed to say that I temporarily became a Man Utd fan in order to please the officers in Azerbaijani customs.
— Marco Yolo

09.50 01.08.2015 Rosa Earp

Whose here? Whose near? Where’s my beer?
— The Horse and Radish

Making it to the finish line, before it is exists is Team Horse and Radish. They are now enjoying a campaign of goading from veterans and ralliers.  

Someone make a sex joke about finishing first
— Jordan - Khan't Stop

Happy to oblige


Congratulations. You have arrived at the launch of Week 3. Now you could close your browser and get on with your bloody boring day, or you could dither about some more and check out what these nutters did in Week 2.  The choice is yours.*

*RIP Cilla.


You can follow the action on our FacebookTwitterLive Tracking Map and here on the blog.

You can sign up for the 2016 Mongol Rally Here.