I've been undemocratically elected to raise £500 for Cool Earth. To make things 'interesting' Im being put against Cool Earth's own fundraising guru James. It's with James' help Adventurist fundraisers have raised over £400,000 for Cool Earth. No pressure then.
I'm not sure I can make cakes good enough to sell, but what I am good at is world class stupid. Fortunately there is a way to raise money from stupid and at The Adventurists we've got a large audience of stupid-seekers.
FUNraiser was set up by a Mongol Rally team in 2014. They realised they could maximise donations by giving their donors smaller targets to fundraise towards and by giving something in return. So people don't just get karma from donating, they also get some entertainment.
With Cool Earth £3 is enough to protect one Peruvian Pine tree from loggers. Now that £3 will also allow you to see something really stupid.
At the end of May I will endure any of these 6 challenges that the target has been reached. All you have to do is pick which challenge you most like the look of and make a small donation, whatever you can afford.
Mr Joolz' Challenges:
Challenge #1 - Back, Crack & Sack
A full man-wax. Getting wax applied to my back, bum crack and ball-bag then hastily removed along with any hair. I have no idea why anyone would get this done out of choice. I'm especially looking forward to it now that James showed me this article about a chap who nearly lost one of his love spuds during such a wax.
If you work in a beauty salon and are based near Bristol or London and want to help out with this in exchange for some free publicity please give me a shout in the comments at the bottom.
Minimum donation needed: £300 - Donate
Challenge #2 - Change my Name
Almost painless this one. Get my name changed by deed-poll to Joolz 'Cool Earth' Ingram. A few moments of silliness, for a lifetime of stupidity.
Minimum donation needed: £500 - Donate
Challenge #3 - One Round with Mr Nye
Our banterist Nye is a pretty angry guy. He's also tougher than titanium plated limpet teeth. If you don't believe me below is the video of him destroying our microwave, just because it nuked his noodles.
Nye is also a fan of MMA fighting. For those of you that don't know MMA fighting is a type of fighting where you try to fuck someone up any way you can. The challenge then is to last 3 minutes against Mr Nye in the ring. Hopefully avoiding permanent damage to either my face or his knuckles.
Minimum donation needed: £600 - Donate
Challenge #4 - Volunteer at an Old People's Home
Old people are something to be cherished and respected. They fought wars for us, and helped create many of the amazing things around us. They can also be a bit boring.
I've got nothing against old people. I'm not really a people's person, I dislike everyone equally. Time just seems to go a lot slower when you're in the company of the oldies.
Minimum donation needed: £700 - Donate
Challenge #5 - Get Waterboarded
And so we move from metaphorical torture to literal torture. Waterboarding is a persuasion method used by the CIA against terrorist suspects and people they don't like the look of. It simulates drowning and is extremely unpleasant.
The video below is of journalist Christopher Hitchens being waterboarded for Vanity Fair. He lasts 15 seconds. My target is 20 seconds.
Minimum donation needed: £800 - Donate
Challenge #6 - A Cool Earth Tattoo
In 2012 I might have indirectly persuaded a couple of Mongol Ralliers to get my name tattooed (along with the Rally logo) on their leg and buttock. Occasionally this plagues on my conscience, not much, but a little. Challenge 6 is to get Cool Earth's logo permanently inked onto my own (possibly freshly waxed) posterior.
If you are a tattooist and are based near Bristol or London and want to help out with this in exchange for some free publicity please give me a shout in the comments at the bottom.
Minimum donation needed: £1000 - Donate
At the end of May I will endure all of these challenges which the target has been reached. All you have to do is pick which challenge you most like the look of and make a small donation, whatever you can afford.
Find out more about our fundraising head to head over on the charity pages of our website.
If you're on one of our adventures in 2015 and raise £1000 for Cool Earth you'll be in the running for a trip to Peru with Cool Earth.