Colan is just a tiny fishing village, perched on the edge of the Pacific Ocean. A warm breeze tickles the palm trees, a small dog saunters down it’s one sandy street, the odd villager ventures out along the beach at sunset, nothing disturbs the peace and quiet of this little place...
The 2014 edition of the Mototaxi Junket roared (well, sputtered) into town this week, with 20 teams taking on this most awesome of challenges. They came from all four corners of the world, to descend on this sleepy village in the middle of nowhere.
All week Colan has resounded to the sound of screaming and whining, both from the crappy motorbike engines and their riders..
Test driving was located on ‘the sandy bit’ Downtown Colan. This was expertly located by members of The Peruvian Dept of Adventurist HQ, in order to provide maximum enjoyment for any passing locals. Mainly as they could watch a bunch of mad gringos desperately try and come to terms with just how monumentally shite the Mototaxis they had chosen from the ‘Hat of Fate’ (never has a lucky dip been so unlucky) really were.
The “mechanic training sessions” were very well attended, nothing is funnier that watching 50 faces glaze over with incomprehension, whilst a highly skilled (and long suffering) Peruvian mechanic tries to explain the intricacies of a rear brake mechanism.
All the teams set about preparing their mighty steeds for the journey ahead. As no-one really had a fricking clue what they were doing, this mainly involved cleaning the chains and wiping dust off the handlebars.
After all the excitement of test driving, there was the usual arse kicking by a local team in a game of football. Our Junketeers stuck with a tradition that has been passed down since the very first event, namely losing the match by a huge margin. We can’t remember the final score (and quite frankly who cares) but the junketeers were gracious in defeat and much fun was had by all.
The pre-launch gala dinner was a classy affair, a smorgasborg of seafood greeted our hungry adventurers, there was cultural dancing, and the obligatory awards ceremony. Some of the more sought after prizes included ‘Team most likely to shit themselves” and “Cleanest Mototaxi Chain” awards.
After dinner the ‘planning’ continued apace, fuelled by some specially developed cocktails that The Peruvian HQ of The Adventurists had selflessly developed and taste tested themselves beforehand- surely above and beyond the call of duty.
Before they knew it, launch day was upon our tremulous teams, a variety of useless spare parts had been purchased - with many teams now totally au fait with the international sign language for ‘puncture repair kit’. Last minute frantic packing resulted in many a dawning realization amongst many of the teams that they had just bought too much shit with them.
A brass band played, the locals laughed, the junketeers sweated and before they knew it, the time had come for the off. Tradition now dictates that the Junket begins with a ‘Le Mans’ style start.
There is nothing more pleasing to all members of The Peruvian HQ of The Adventurists, than to watch 50 wild-eyed gringos run down a hot sandy street in the midday sun, bash their sweaty heads on the canopy as they contort themselves onto the bikes, swear loudly as they smash their shins against the kick-starter and frantically stall repeatedly in their attempt to be first off the line.
As their engines belched into life and the teams began their epic journey, criss-crossing deserts, forging over high mountain passes, squelching through thick jungle mud, we here at Peruvian HQ salute you for your sheer stupidity in attempting this mother-hubbard of an adventure.
Go South, brave junketeers.
South into the unknown, laughing manically in the face of all that the road is going to throw at you….
You can follow the junketeers on our LIVE Tracking Map as it meanders southwards (hopefully)