Two long weeks ago, we laid out the 5 steps to a cracking first day on the Rickshaw Run – when the 77 teams on this current January Run were still blissfully unaware of the mayhem that awaited them on the Subcontinent…ah, naivety.
Two weeks later, and those teams are finally limping into Cochin. Many of them resembling the dirty, scraggy and bedgraggled street-dogs they've passed en-route. A few stragglers are still out there somewhere...no doubt bouncing joyously towards the finish.
But for those that have finished, what do you do when your journey of 3,000kms across India comes to an end? Well, you obviously want to have as spiffing an ending as possible, one befitting the adventure you’ve just had.
Here are your seven steps to doing so:
Step 1: Provided you actually make it to Cochin, complete your Rickshaw Run with as much intensity as possible.
For maximum effect, you should aim to run out of petrol, break down, or stall the rick just as you cross the finish line.
Step 2: Sign the arrivals board with a magnificent flourish.
Note the time and date and entertain teams and spectators to come with your wittiest tale from the road. Exaggerations accepted (and indeed encouraged).
Step 3: Receive your highly official certificate from Rickshaw Run chief Mr. Matt.
Begin scheming ways to properly display such a prize once you arrive home. No doubt the Run will be the most exciting thing you do all year. You could frame it and hang it proudly next to all the pairs of underpants you soiled for example.
Step 4: Arrive unshaven and unshowered.
Preferably you should also be in the exact same clothes which you have worn throughout the entire run, much like Dale from team 'Rocket 88' did. Splendid effort Sir (the showers are over there by the way).
Step 5: Announce your arrival to the world with a golden bugle.
Even better if you followed the example of Willy from Belgian team 'Are You Tukkin to Me?' and carried said bugle with you all the way from Jaisalmer. He's so horny.
Step 6: Pose for a final time with your trusty steed.
The more unbalanced and precarious a pose the better. This is precisely the sort of stunt that the rickshaws’ roof racks were made for.