The conga. That snake game on your old Nokia. Follow my leader. Lemmings. Sheep. All very valid, and everyone loves them. What the fuck does that have to do with the Mongol Rally though?
The convoy. That's right. There's no fun in a pre-launch convoy on your own, that's like dipping your rich tea into a mug of air - pointless. So, we've come up with a cunning plan...
We all know the launch itself is in the Czech Republic, but of course, you all need to get there. We figured you'd have more fun and get to know each other before you even get to the D.P.G.R.A. if you stick together, and thus the convoy was born unto the world.
It means the Mongol Rally for 2018 is actually going to kick off in Blackpool. Yes, Blackpool. Home to kiss me quick hats, sticks of rock and a ruddy great tower. The convoy will then snake its way gradually Southwards and Eastward towards the D.P.G.R.A. and you lovely lot can join any time you like.
How do I follow and join?
Easy. Just keep your eyes on the tracking map and follow team 'Away From Keyboard'. They also have a great Facebook Page. They're acting as head of the convoy. If you want to join, then join. If they're going a shit route, or taking too long then leave. It's up to you.
Do I have to convoy?
No. Of course not. We simply thought this might be fun. It might also fall flat on its arse and be shite. Only time will tell. If you can, however, manage to gridlock half of the cities in Europe on the way then we're basically onto a winner.
Where are we sleeping?
We couldn't give a shit. We're not wiping your bums here, you'll be following a fellow team, and adhering to their rules and route. If you don't want to drive with them, then don't.
The (rough) schedule.
Thursday 12th July
08:00 - Gather at Blackpool Tower - hopefully on the Comedy Carpet but if that falls through, the meeting spot will be across from The Pleasure Beach (The Big One Ride) on the Prom.
09:00 - After a bit of pomp, ceremony, press interviews and and messing around with your phones trying to take the perfect selfie, you shall hit the road.
That night - the team will be sleeping in Deal, 8miles north of Dover. There is nothing sorted, so if you need somewhere to sleep, get it sorted.
Friday 13th July
10:15 - The lead team will take the ferry to Calais.
12:00 - The European convoy begins.
That night - sleep somewhere. Probably just before Frankfurt.
Saturday 14th July
Keep driving east. Sleep somewhere, probably in the Czech Republic.
Sunday 15th July
12:00 - Arrive at the gates of the D.P.G.R.A. in the Czech Republic and get cavity searched.
Sounds lovely doesn't it, what could possibly go wrong?
Here's that tracking map link again
Conveniently enough, this is also the link you need to give to your friends, families and sponsors to follow you. Don't know what we're on about? READ THIS.
Good luck Ralliers, and godspeed.
Oh - and you might want to just listen to THIS on repeat the whole time. You might also might not.