This is 10,000 miles of feral, unsupported adventuring chaos from the UK to Mongolia in cars the size of a lawnmower.
As we like to say - if nothing goes wrong, everything has gone wrong.
It’s not clever, it’s not safe and you might not finish but it is the greatest adventure on the planet.
You’re sweating profusely. All around you is endless wilderness. Your car has only 3 wheels left and the engine just fell off. Before you is 1000 miles of off-road that would make a Land Rover shit itself. And the only tools you have to fix it are your co-pilots.
This is the moment you know you're on the Mongol Rally.
It's not just about getting stuck, we also ask you to raise a minimum of £1000 for charity, at least £500 of which goes to our official charity Cool Earth.
Along with the teams on the other adventures, you'll be saving the world one rainforest at a time. Not because we’re tree hugging sandal weavers, but because the world would be shit without them.
Where would we get lost if we didn't have jungles?
You can't have an adventure with a big 4x4; you know before starting that you’ll reach the finish. No, what you need to tackle some of the toughest terrain on the planet is something a little more ridiculous. And so it follows that to do the Mongol Rally you need to turn up in something many people might consider to be a little unsuitable. What do they know. "Unsuitable for what?" we say. If you look at your steed and think, "This is the right car for crossing a desert" you've got it badly wrong.
Below are the three main class of rally machines we like to see.
And they're back. After a hiatus of a few years and many hours of work and planning, the Mongol Rally has finally devolved and the 1 litre crap-mobile returns. You can bring anything as long as it’s crap and has an engine no bigger than 1 litre of yak's milk.
Feeling like you've got a giant pair of gonads swinging about in your metaphorical ball bag? Then two wheels is the only choice for you. But on the Mongol Rally it’s got to be under 125cc and preferably a scooter. And crap.
There are times when we will bend the rules. And those times are all about when you've found something truly stupid to take on the world. These chaps came in a car made to look like Thunderbird 4. Full points awarded.
Here's to not knowing where you're going, where you are or where you were 10 minutes ago. Here's to the un-route - the only way to navigate. We could give you a turn by turn "rally guide" but then aside from being in a traffic jam for 10,000 miles you would be on a package holiday not an adventure.
We give you the start and we give you the end, but what you do in-between is entirely your steaming bag of adventuring magic.
Over the last 10 years we've noticed that the world has a bit more tarmac than it used to. Getting to Mongolia is getting a bit too easy.
So in 2014 we have devised a way of helping make your adventure substantially more difficult. We call them the Rather Irregular Places and they really, really won't help you get where you're going. At all.
But you will receive more pats on the back the more of them you reach, or get near to.
Ten Mongol Rallies have passed since the first edition in 2004. A decade of motoring stupidity has flown the flag for adventurism in admirable fashion, but the rally has had to evolve as the years ticked by.
The cars got newer because we sold them for charity and didn't want to give them crap plus the government made the importing of old cars expensive. Then engines got bigger because the cheap new cars don't have tiny engines. Then the entry fee had to rise.
Tarmac has spread across the planet like a nasty rash on a jockey's nut sack. GPS and the internet are making it harder to get lost. To find trouble these days you have to go out and find it.
It’s inevitable they say; you can’t stop the relentless march of modernity they say.
Bollocks we say.
After ten years it’s time to bring back a touch of the original chaos. We miss being able to fix the cars with chewing gum and a baked bean can. We don’t understand diagnostic systems, we prefer hammers.
No more sissy wagons, it's all about picking the biggest rolling turd you can, polishing it a bit and wanging it at 1/3 of planet Earth. Things are going to go seriously wrong. Roll up people, the Mongol Rally is devolved.
We like doing good in the countries we run our adventures. As Mongolia has changed over the last decade their desire for old Mongol Rally cars has reduced considerably.
To ensure the rally isn't importing a load of unwanted cars, and let's face it, after doing the rally these are barely cars anymore, we introduce the No Car Left Behind policy. This means any car on the Mongol Rally has to go back again.
There's 2 main ways to do this. 1 - you can ship it back, which we arrange for you and get incredible bulk discounts. 2 - you can drive it back, for which we provide you with the get me home guide.
Taking part in the Mongol Rally just got a massive load cheaper - handy, but here are some of the things that your gold will get spent on...
Cars: £630 per car
Motorbikes: £350 per bike
You can reserve yourself a team for a £100 deposit.
You will need to buy a car and get the car out of Mongolia after the Rally; which is cheap if you (or your friends) drive it home or around £1000 to ship it home.
You need to think about things like insurance, visas, petrol, hotels, food and getting home. You can get a better idea of these costs by clicking on the 'More Info' button to the right.
There is also a fully returnable vehicle deposit which we take to make sure no one dumps their car in Mongolia.
Tell your boss you are due to get some horrible debilitating disease in July. Here are some handy dates for your Mongol Rally diary.
19th July 2014 - THE LAUNCH
9th August 2014 - BEGINNING OF THE END
This is when the Finish Line officially opens.
30th August 2014 - END OF THE END
By now most of you are either lost forever, given up or made it; upon this date the Finish Line closes (but you can arrive after that if you like).
Well; the Rally starts in the UK and with a bit of luck you'll end in Ulaanbaatar the capital of Mongolia.
Well of course you are. You have no choice but to sign up for the best summer of your life. And luckily for you it takes just 100 English pounds to reserve your spot.
But if for some unfathomable reason you want more information before you throw yourself at 1/3 of the planet in a tiny shite-mobile then look no further than our appropriately titled "more info" link to the right there
This is the map of adventures and escapades from the 2013 Mongol Rally, click on the icons to view the videos.